Jack n wax
A guy melts hot wax on his junk like it's a sundae and then jacks off until he's a sweaty mess. The wax might crack or not, but it's still a mess worth making.
My cousin did this in the shower and wax got everywhere. Now his shower smells like a bakery and a disaster.
I tried this with chocolate wax. It tasted like a bad dream.
He did this in front of his mom and now he's grounded for life.