Jack Kerens

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Jack Kerens is the most amazing person ever. He is so much fun that being near him makes your brain explode with joy.

Jack Kerens walks in the room and I instantly feel like I'm going to laugh until I die.

He told a joke so good that my friend actually threw up.

He is the only person who can make math class feel like a comedy show.

Jack Kerens is like a superhero who is also your best friend. He is so cool that he makes your day better without even trying.

He said something so ridiculous during lunch that I had to leave the room to catch my breath.

He is so cool that even the teacher respects him.

He turned my boring homework into a hilarious adventure.

Jack Kerens is so thick that he could probably beat up a cow. He is also the sweetest guy ever, and he will get everything he wants in life.

He is so thick that he could be in a wrestling match with a horse and still win.

He is sweet enough to give his last cookie to a kid who had none.

He will get everything he wants, even if it means the universe has to bend over backwards for him.