jack haskell
A man who's usually fat, but even when he's not, he's still basically a mountain and doesn't shut up about it.
Jack Haskell walks into a room and the ceiling creaks. It’s not the ceiling. It’s him.
He told me he could eat a whole pizza and still fit into his pants. His pants are made of concrete.
He tried to do a push-up and the floor shook. It was a 3.5 earthquake.