Jack Freese

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1
The king of cool, the man who makes the town look like a joke, and the only person who dares to poop in the pool.
Jack Freese walked into the pool like he owned it. Then he pooped. The pool died.
The town was just a bunch of losers until Jack Freese showed up and kicked their butts.
Jack Freese didn’t just cool off, he cooled the whole town down. Literally.
2
The most awesome guy you’ve ever seen, and also the only person who can make a sandwich look like a war zone.
Jack Freese made a sandwich so good, it started a riot. And the bread was crying.
He walked into the cafeteria like he was about to conquer the world. The sandwich was just a side note.
Jack Freese didn’t just eat a sandwich, he ate the whole lunchroom.
3
The best person in the world, the only one who can make a fart sound like a symphony, and the reason why the town is still alive.
Jack Freese farted so loud, the whole town heard it. And they all died laughing.
He came into the room like he was about to take over the world. Then he farted. The world was impressed.
Jack Freese didn’t just live, he farted the town into existence.
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