jack diddley

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zero, zilch, the total lack of anything you needed to make whatever mess you were trying to pull off.

I showed up with a half-eaten burger and no plan. That's jack diddley.

He said he'd fix the roof. Then he fixed the floor. That's jack diddley.

I had a full tank of gas and a dream. That's jack diddley.

the moment jack squat and diddley squat went to a party and forgot to bring the punch and the pizza.

She said she'd help me move. Then she said she had to go to the bathroom. That's jack diddley.

He said he'd clean his room. Then he said his dog did it. That's jack diddley.

I showed up with a bag of chips and a grudge. That's jack diddley.

a guy who looks like he just stepped out of a 1980s movie and has a punchline that only works if you're high.

He showed up with a mullet and a bad punchline. That's jack diddley.

He said he was going to beat me up. Then he said he had a headache. That's jack diddley.

He tried to start a band. Then he tried to start a nap. That's jack diddley.

the art of doing absolutely nothing and then throwing the word fuck at the end like it's a trophy.

He said he was going to do something. Then he said fuck. That's jack diddley.

She said she was going to clean. Then she said fuck. That's jack diddley.

He said he was going to win. Then he said fuck. That's jack diddley.