Jack Davies Ted Cakeman Darling Morton

@jackdavies: I'm the best at everything. Also I eat pizza for breakfast. #winnerwinnerchickendinner

Ted Cakeman just told me he invented the wheel. I’m not even mad, I’m impressed.

Darling Morton thinks he’s a genius because he once spelled 'hello' correctly. #legend

Jack Davies said he can solve the Rubik’s Cube blindfolded. I’ve seen him solve a sandwich.

Ted Cakeman tried to make a cake and it looked like a science experiment gone wrong.

Darling Morton thinks he’s a rockstar because he once sang in the shower. #showerrockstar

Jack Davies told me he’s a movie star. I asked him which movie. He said ‘the one I made up.’

Ted Cakeman says he’s famous. I asked his mom. She said he’s famous for being annoying.

Darling Morton claims he’s in the dictionary. I checked. He’s not. But I’m sure it’s a typo.

Jack Davies says the sun rises just for him. I checked. It doesn’t. He probably lied.

Ted Cakeman tried to tie his shoes and ended up in a knot. It looked like a cake disaster.

Darling Morton says he can do anything. I asked him to clean his room. He said, ‘I can do anything. I just don’t want to.’

Jack Davies told me he’s a legend. I asked who else thinks that. He said, ‘No one. I’m the only one.’

Ted Cakeman thinks he’s a legend because he once ate a cake in 10 seconds. I ate it in 3.

Darling Morton says he’s a legend. I told him he was a legend. He said, ‘You’re a legend too.’ #legend