Jack Carnage
He’s a man who doesn’t just live in the wild, he is the wild. He’s got a beard so big it could be a tent, a hat so cool it could be a spaceship, and a voice that sounds like a thunderstorm. He’s also a wizard, but not the kind that casts spells, he casts ass-kickings.
He came to my birthday party and threw my cake at my brother. Then he kicked my brother’s ass.
He walked into a restaurant and the waiter said, ‘We don’t serve weaklings here.’ He ordered steak and a beer.
He talked to my dog, and my dog started crying. I don’t know why, maybe he was just that sad.