Jack and Crack
A person who can’t cook and eats frozen pizza like it’s a life choice. If they’re drunk, they’ll throw up and take off their pants to show their crack. They’re happy when they say 'decent.' They love fights and shout 'come on' like a madman.
"He threw up in the sink and showed his crack like it was a talent show."
“She yelled 'come on' at a cat and then tried to fight it.”
“He called me 'decent' after I gave him a sandwich. I was confused.”