jack aherne

Jack Aherne said he could beat anyone in a dance-off. I asked him if he'd ever lost. He said no, and then he fell off the stage.

He told me he once fought a chicken. I asked if he won. He said the chicken had a grudge.

He claimed he could bench-press a cow. I asked if he'd tried it. He said he was waiting for the cow to be ready.

He told me he was on a show called 'Dance Off: The Hard Way.' I asked if anyone watched it. He said, 'I did.'

He said he got a letter from the president. I asked if it was real. He said it was, and then he read it out loud in a fake voice.

He told me he was invited to a royal party. I asked if he went. He said he did, but he left because the cake was too sweet.

He said he was there when the world was made. I asked if he had a ticket. He said it was free, but he had to fight a dinosaur for it.

He told me he used to be a wizard. I asked if he still was. He said he was, but now he just does magic on YouTube.

He said he met God. I asked if God had anything to say. He said God said, 'Jack, you're still annoying.'