Jace the Mind Sculptor

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3 views · Added 10d ago · 3 definitions

1
Jace the Mind Sculptor is a Magic: The Gathering card that makes you look like a king if you have one. If you don’t, you’re just a peasant with a broken deck.
My friend bought Jace and now he’s rich and I’m broke. He’s like a king and I’m like a beggar.
I saw someone show off Jace in a tournament. I felt like I was watching royalty.
My mom said if I get Jace, I can stop eating cereal for breakfast.
2
Jace is the best because he can get it on with anyone, anytime, anywhere. No touching needed. He’s like a wizard who can make babies with just a thought.
Jace can sleep with a dragon and not even break a sweat. I’m just a human who can’t even sleep with my sister.
He didn’t even touch the card and it had a baby. I just had to touch mine and it cried.
I tried to get it on with my dog and it ran away. Jace would’ve had a baby with it.
3
Jace the Mind Sculptor is so cool that he has a fancy cat named Ajani who’s basically his lover. He also poops out magic cards and uses fancy petals to wipe his butt.
Jace shits out mox artifacts and I just have a broken pencil. That’s not cool.
He wipes his ass with lotus petals and I have to use toilet paper. I’m not even fancy.
Ajani is his lover and I have to be friends with my dog. That’s not even close.
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