jabbatude

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1
Jabbatude is when someone looks like a soggy pizza and acts like they’re the queen of a fat pig farm. They think they’re a rockstar but are just a mess of bad choices.
"I’m a goddess, baby. I eat donuts for breakfast.", said by someone who smells like a gym sock.
"You’re just jealous I have a six-pack of lard.", said by a person who has two lumps and a dream.
"I’m not ugly, I’m just… selectively attractive.", said by someone who’s never been kissed.
2
Jabbatude is when a person is so ugly and lazy they think being a hot mess is a superpower. They’re like a used towel that’s been dipped in soda and left outside.
"I don’t need makeup, I’m naturally fabulous.", said by someone who hasn’t seen a mirror in a month.
"I’m the king of the pigsty, and you’re just a peasant.", said by someone who eats out of a bowl.
"I’m not fat, I’m just… chunky.", said by someone who’s 200 pounds and in denial.
3
Jabbatude is when someone is like a bad pizza that’s been left in the sun, gross, sticky, and thinking they’re the best thing since sliced bread.
"I’m a legend, and you’re just a footnote.", said by someone who wears a shirt that says ‘I survived the 90s.’
"I don’t need a gym, I just need a donut shop.", said by someone who can’t fit into their pants.
"I’m not slutty, I’m just… proudly average.", said by someone who’s never had a date.
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