jabba-wipe - A woman who thinks a man's love is measured by how many pies

A woman who thinks a man's love is measured by how many pies he can eat in one sitting.

My mom is a jabba-wipe. She says, 'He ate four pies in one go. That's love.' I say, 'That's a digestive disaster.'

He ate a pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She said, 'That's dedication.' I said, 'That's a stomach issue.'

She posted a picture of him with pie on his face. I said, 'That's not love. That's a mess.' She said, 'That's a mess of love.'