Jabajig
When your French toast is so burnt on one side it looks like it got hit by a flaming pancake and still soggy on the other like it got hugged by a puddle.
My breakfast looked like it had a burn on one side and a syrup tattoo on the other.
I cooked my toast so bad it was like it had a sunburn and a cold sore.
My French toast was like my ex. One side was perfect, the other was a disaster.