jaalib
The most annoying person who makes everything sound like a secret. You whisper a joke and he thinks it's a coded message from the moon.
You: I'm going to sleep. Jaalib: That's not sleep. That's a trap.
You: I like cats. Jaalib: Those cats are spies from Mars.
You: I ate a taco. Jaalib: That taco is a message from the future.