Jaaan
A stupid name for a guy named John who thinks he's cooler than he actually is. Also used for the fourth person who somehow exists and is probably the reason life is hard.
Jaaan, why did you spill your soda on my homework? You're the worst.
Jaaan is the fourth person who came out of nowhere and ruined my lunch.
Jaaan, you're not a king. You're just a guy who forgot his name.