I'm a Model - A way to say you're so ugly or so chunky that it's almost fu

A way to say you're so ugly or so chunky that it's almost funny.

You're a model? No, you're a model. I'm a model.

I'm a model, so I can eat a whole pizza and still look like I just walked out of a magazine.

I'm a model, so I can wear a hat to hide my face.