I'll put it in my memoirs.

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6 views · Added 11d ago · 6 definitions

1
A fancy way of saying I’m going to laugh at you in my book and maybe throw your face in the trash.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said after someone explained their dog's favorite toy.
I'll put it in my memoirs., whispered during a boring Zoom call.
I'll put it in my memoirs., texted to a friend after a coworker bragged about their weekend.
2
A promise to make your words the punchline of my future bathroom humor.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said after a colleague rambled about their plants.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said in a group chat after someone described their morning cereal.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said during a meeting after a guy talked about his cat's diet.
3
A swear that I’ll make you the reason I need more than one drink at happy hour.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said after someone told a story about their neighbor's bird.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said in a DM after a friend described their day at the mall.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said when a coworker explained their lunch break.
4
A vow to never let you live it down, not even when you’re dead.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said after someone explained their phone's new app.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said in a text after a friend talked about their new haircut.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said during a meeting after someone gave a speech about their coffee.
5
A threat to make your words the reason I fail my next spelling test.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said after someone explained their weekend walk.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said in a DM after a friend rambled about their lunch.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said during a meeting after someone gave a report about their printer.
6
A promise to use your words as fuel for my future rants.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said after someone described their new shoes.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said in a group chat after a friend talked about their gym class.
I'll put it in my memoirs., said during a meeting after someone bragged about their coffee habit.
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