I'll have you know that I was drunk

A stupid excuse for doing something so shameful it should be illegal. It usually comes with a list of things like throwing up on a cop, peeing in a pool, and getting stuck in a toilet.

A lie people tell when they're too drunk to remember their own face. It usually includes stuff like singing in the shower, throwing eggs at a teacher, and crying over a soda.

A fancy way of saying 'I had no idea what I was doing.' Usually includes things like dancing with a chicken, eating a sock, and yelling at the moon.

A stupid excuse that people use when they’re too drunk to remember their own name. It usually ends with something like peeing in a fire hydrant, eating a whole pizza box, or crying over a chicken.

A ridiculous excuse that people say when they’re too drunk to know what they did. Usually includes things like licking a toilet, eating a shoe, or screaming at a vending machine.

A fancy excuse that people use when they're too drunk to remember their own face. Usually ends with something like peeing in a fountain, eating a sock, or crying over a chicken.