i'll beat the shit out of you

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This is what a total loser yells when they’re too chicken to actually hit you, but still want to look tough.

My cousin said this to me when he couldn’t even lift my backpack.

My gym teacher said this to me after I told him he looked like a sad potato.

My ex said this to me after I beat him at chess, which he still doesn’t get.

A promise that you’ll get the worst beating of your life, and it’s coming from someone who’s probably still mad about last week.

My mom said this to me after I spilled coffee on her new dress.

My brother said this to me when I won the video game battle for the 10th time.

My friend said this to me when I told him his haircut looked like a raccoon’s butt.