I'd wear a hat on a day like that - A fancy way of saying you're too dumb to deal with whatever

A fancy way of saying you're too dumb to deal with whatever is going on, and you're just going to hide in a hat instead.

I'd wear a hat on a day like that. My science teacher gave me a pop quiz on Monday and I failed it.

I'd wear a hat on a day like that. My crush asked me to prom, and I said no, and now I'm crying.

I'd wear a hat on a day like that. My mom sent me a text that was 17 paragraphs long, and I didn't read it.