I'd Love To Turn You On - This phrase is for people who think they're deep, but really

This phrase is for people who think they're deep, but really just want to get high and forget their problems.

'I'd love to turn you on, but I can't even remember my own name right now.'

'Turn you on? I'd turn you into a walrus if you didn't show up.'

'I'd love to turn you on, but I'm too busy being a mess.'