i'd hate to - A smug way of saying you're gloating like a fat kid who just

A smug way of saying you're gloating like a fat kid who just got a gold star for eating a whole pizza.

I'd hate to be you right now, loser. Your life is a dumpster fire and you're the one lighting it.

I'd hate to be you when your ex texts you 'still cute, still a disaster.'

I'd hate to be you after your dog ate your homework and your teacher saw it.