i wouldn't give your troubles to a monkey on a rock

I wouldn't give your troubles to a monkey on a rock. You're worse than a broken toaster.

Bro, your life is a mess. I wouldn’t give your troubles to a monkey on a rock. That monkey would get a raise.

Your problems are so bad, even a monkey on a rock would take a vacation from listening to them.

Your life is a disaster. I wouldn’t give your troubles to a monkey on a rock. That monkey would start a union.

Man, your problems are worse than my algebra. I wouldn’t give your troubles to a monkey on a rock.

You’re so bad at life, even a monkey on a rock would quit and take a job at a donut shop.

You’re the worst. I wouldn’t give your troubles to a monkey on a rock. That monkey would take a nap and come back with a better problem.

Your life is a hot mess. I wouldn’t give your troubles to a monkey on a rock. That monkey would get a degree in misery.

Your problems are so bad, even a monkey on a rock would say, 'I’m out.'