I Work On Principals On Work I

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I get paid to yell at people who don't do their job right and then do my own job wrong.

My boss said I was the best at my job. I told him he was wrong. He said I was right.

I got a raise because I broke the copier and made the office smell like burnt hair.

I told my coworker he was lazy. He told me I was a bad boss. We both got fired.

I work for a boss who thinks he's a king and I'm his prisoner.

My boss told me to work overtime. I told him I'd rather die.

He said I was the best employee he ever had. I said I was the only one who showed up.

He gave me a promotion. I gave him a middle finger.

I get a paycheck to sit in a chair and pretend I know what I'm doing.

I told my boss I was sick. He said I was just lazy.

I worked 40 hours and got paid for 20. I told him I was going to quit. He said he was going to fire me.

I filled out my timesheet with lies. My boss said he was proud of me.

I work for a boss who thinks I'm a robot and I'm just pretending.

My boss said I had to work on weekends. I said I was going to die.

He asked me if I was done with my work. I said I was done with him.

I told him I was going to quit. He said I was going to fail.

I get a paycheck to look busy while I do nothing.

I told my boss I was working. He said I looked like I was sleeping.

I filled my coffee cup with paperclips. He said I was creative.

I took a nap during a meeting. He said I was inspiring.

I work in a place that smells like old coffee and bad decisions.

I told my boss I was going to quit. He said he was going to fire me.

I tried to clean the office. He said I was making it worse.

I got a raise because I spilled coffee on his desk.