i won't be long

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I’ll be back before you finish your snack and realize you hate your life

I won’t be long. (He left. The snack is now a shrine.)

I won’t be long. (He came back 2 hours later, wearing a shirt from 2013.)

I won’t be long. (He came back with a burger and a side of regret.)

I’ll be back before your coffee goes cold and your patience turns to ash

I won’t be long. (He left. The coffee is now a black hole.)

I won’t be long. (He came back with a latte and a side of insults.)

I won’t be long. (He came back 45 minutes later, with a side of sarcasm.)

I’ll be back before your pizza gets cold and your hope dies a slow death

I won’t be long. (He left. The pizza is now a monument.)

I won’t be long. (He came back with a side of regret and a half-eaten slice.)

I won’t be long. (He came back 2 hours later, still eating the pizza.)

I’ll be back before your brain forgets your name and your life gets worse

I won’t be long. (He left. Your brain now thinks your name is ‘Bob.’)

I won’t be long. (He came back 3 hours later, and your brain is still confused.)

I won’t be long. (He left. Your life now has a side of chaos.)

I’ll be back before your mom calls and your dad yells at you

I won’t be long. (He left. Your mom called in 10 minutes.)

I won’t be long. (He came back 2 hours later, and your dad is now yelling at both of you.)

I won’t be long. (He left. Your mom called. Your dad yelled. You are now dead inside.)