I told u I was hardcore

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1
A guy who lives in his mom's basement and eats expired pizza called himself hardcore. He then proceeded to die in a Zoom call while yelling at a raccoon.
I told u I was hardcore, bro. This raccoon just laughed at me.
I told u I was hardcore. My mom said I was a disgrace.
I told u I was hardcore. My pizza was more legendary than my death.
2
A man who claimed to be the king of the internet decided to take a pill so big it blocked the sun. His last words were 'I told u I was hardcore.'
I told u I was hardcore. The sun didn't stand a chance.
I told u I was hardcore. My pill was a god.
I told u I was hardcore. The raccoon was my queen.
3
A guy who thought he was cool enough to be on a podcast took three hits of acid and then died mid-sentence. He said, 'I told u I was hardcore.'
I told u I was hardcore. I just saw my mom in a kale smoothie.
I told u I was hardcore. The podcast was my kingdom.
I told u I was hardcore. My acid was stronger than my brain.
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