I sexually identify as a walmart bag - If you sexually identify as a Walmart bag, you're the kind o

If you sexually identify as a Walmart bag, you're the kind of person who thinks being squished under a 2-liter soda is a romantic gesture.

I live for being thrown in the back of a car like a forgotten snack.

I dream of being a reusable bag, but I’m still just a bag that got tossed.

I feel most alive when I’m holding up a stack of cereal boxes.