i raped a mountain troll

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a way to say someone is full of crap and probably never did what they said they did

You said you beat up a mountain troll? I’ve seen better liars at a dog show.

If you raped a mountain troll, I’d be the first one to sign up for the funeral.

You claim you raped a mountain troll? I’d rather fight a bear with a spoon.

a stupid claim that makes you sound like a baboon who thinks he’s a king

You say you raped a mountain troll? I bet you can’t even lift a trash can.

If you really did that, I’d be eating your leftovers for a month.

You claim you raped a mountain troll? I’d rather be chased by a goat.

a way to say someone is too dumb to know what they did and probably made it up

You say you raped a mountain troll? I’d believe a fish is running for president before I believe you.

If you raped a mountain troll, I’d be the one who got the medal for being brave enough to watch.

You think you raped a mountain troll? I’d say you got more respect from a squirrel.

a dumb excuse for why someone didn’t do what they said they would

You said you raped a mountain troll? I’d believe a ghost won a spelling bee before I believe you.

If you really did that, I’d be the first one to start a cult about it.

You claim you raped a mountain troll? I’d rather be yelled at by a chicken.

a way to say someone is so full of lies, they probably made up the troll

You say you raped a mountain troll? I’d believe a rock is singing karaoke before I believe you.

If you really did that, I’d be the one who got a lifetime supply of embarrassment.

You claim you raped a mountain troll? I’d say you got more respect from a pigeon.