I Judge

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When you see someone do something stupid and you feel like you need to yell at them from a distance.

My cousin ate a whole pizza by himself and then said he was fine. I judged him so hard I could’ve spit on him.

My neighbor tried to fix his car with a hammer. I judged him from my porch like he was a bad student.

My friend tried to talk to a chicken at the grocery store. I judged him so hard I almost got a ticket.

You think someone is a total mess and you want to throw a party just to mock them.

My mom wore socks with sandals to the grocery store. I wanted to throw a party just to laugh at her.

My brother tried to ride a bike without training wheels and fell. I judged him like he was the worst kid ever.

My friend tried to sing in the shower and it was like a war zone. I judged him and I mean it.

When you see someone do something wrong and you just can’t help but laugh at them like they’re a joke.

My friend tried to eat a whole cake in one bite and it looked like he had a facepalm. I laughed so hard I cried.

My brother tried to text me with his feet and failed. I judged him like he was a failure.

My cousin tried to dance in the grocery store and it was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I judged him and I mean it.

You think someone is so bad that you want to write a whole essay about how bad they are.

My sister tried to text me with her toes and failed. I wrote a whole essay about how bad she was.

My brother tried to talk to a dog and it looked like he was doing a presentation. I judged him like he was the worst.

My cousin tried to eat a whole pizza in one bite and I judged him so hard I almost got a ticket.

You see someone do something dumb and you just can’t help but say ‘I judge’ like it’s the most important thing in the world.

My neighbor tried to fix his car with a hammer and I just said ‘I judge’ like it was the end of the world.

My friend tried to sing in the shower and I just said ‘I judge’ like I was a judge on a show.

My brother tried to ride a bike without training wheels and I said ‘I judge’ like it was my job.

You think someone is so bad that you just want to throw them out of a window.

My mom wore socks with sandals and I wanted to throw her out of a window.

My brother tried to text me with his feet and I wanted to throw him out of a window.

My cousin tried to eat a whole cake in one bite and I wanted to throw him out of a window.