I have Neurosemantical Inversitis
You get this sickness when nice stuff sounds like insults and mean stuff sounds like a compliment. It’s like your brain is flipped inside out and covered in glitter and swear words.
Your friend says, 'You did great!' and you think they’re roasting you.
A teacher says, 'You’re a menace,' and you think they’re giving you a trophy.
Your mom says, 'I’m proud of you,' and you think she’s calling the cops.