I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement

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A fancy way of saying you're a dumbass who keeps making dumb choices.

I just got fired again. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

My mom called me and said I smell like a garbage can. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

I tried to date a guy who had a pet goat. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

You’re so bad at life that you basically invented it.

I took a job at a pizza place and still got fired. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

I drank three energy drinks and cried in the bathroom. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

I told my teacher I was sick, but I was just watching TikTok. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

You're like a broken calculator, you keep pressing the wrong buttons and you don't even care.

I failed my math test and still said I was going to be a doctor. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

I tried to cook and set the house on fire. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

I texted my ex and then cried in the hallway. I have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.