i have fat - I have fat. What a rich white kid says when they’re too lazy

I have fat. What a rich white kid says when they’re too lazy to look in the mirror and still think they’re hot.

Bro, you’re like a couch that’s been sitting in a sauna for a decade. You’re not just fat. You’re a full-blown disaster.

You’re not chubby. You’re a meat mountain. And I’ve seen meat mountains get washed away by rain.

You’re not just fat. You’re the reason the treadmill has a panic button.