i have 500 plantisimals in my sweatpants

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the holy agony of your crotch when you sit on a dirty toilet seat

I had 500 plantisimals in my sweatpants after sitting on a toilet that smelled like a dead raccoon.

My coworker said he had 500 plantisimals in his sweatpants after the lunchroom microwave exploded.

I had 500 plantisimals in my sweatpants and I didn’t even know it was a thing until my pants caught fire.

the feeling you get when your groin is screaming for mercy and your pants are laughing at you

I had 500 plantisimals in my sweatpants after my dog peed on my leg and then my pants.

My brother said he had 500 plantisimals in his sweatpants after he tried to wear socks as pants.

I had 500 plantisimals in my sweatpants and my pants were doing a cha-cha.

the moment your pants become a prison for your crotch and you wish you were dead

I had 500 plantisimals in my sweatpants and I thought about quitting my job just to escape the pain.

My friend had 500 plantisimals in his sweatpants after he sat on a chair that had been used by a thousand angry people.

I had 500 plantisimals in my sweatpants and I cried like a baby because my pants were evil.