i got a new birthday - When you're given a second life because you're too stupid to

When you're given a second life because you're too stupid to die, and you're just gonna waste it on junk food and bad decisions.

I got a new birthday, so I’m gonna eat pizza and regret everything.

Another birthday? I’m just gonna say ‘fuck it’ and eat ice cream for dinner.

New birthday? I’m gonna be stupid and get into trouble again.