I fuckin doubt it
This is your go-to phrase when someone’s story is so bad it makes you want to punch them in the face and then eat a taco.
I fuckin doubt it. You said you won the lottery? I’ve seen you lose a bet on who’s the better singer between me and a parrot.
I fuckin doubt it. You told me you could bench press a horse? I can barely lift my backpack.
I fuckin doubt it. You said you had a date with a celebrity? I’ve seen you flirt with the mailman and he still said no.