I feel for everyone, then I feel nothing

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I feel bad for everyone, but then I realize how bad I have it and everyone else is a dumb f***ing waste of space

I feel bad for the guy who got fired, then I remember I got fired too and he's still got hair

I feel bad for the girl who failed her test, then I remember I failed my test and I don't have hair

I feel bad for the kid who got grounded, then I remember I got grounded and I still got pizza

I try to be nice to everyone, but then I get so f***ing annoyed I don't care anymore

I tried to be nice to my friend, then he asked me for money and I threw a chair

I tried to be nice to my mom, then she yelled at me and I yelled back

I tried to be nice to my dog, then he peed on my shoes and I threw a shoe

I feel for everyone like they're my best friend, then I realize they're not and I go back to being a f***ing grumpy old man

I felt for my neighbor like he was my best friend, then he borrowed my lawn mower and never returned it

I felt for my teacher like she was my best friend, then she gave me an F and I cried

I felt for my brother like he was my best friend, then he took my last slice of pizza and I screamed

I feel bad for everyone, but I also feel bad for myself and I just want to die

I felt bad for my friend, then I remembered I was also sad and I cried in the bathroom

I felt bad for my teacher, then I remembered I had to do homework and I cried in my bed

I felt bad for my dog, then he peed on my bed and I cried in my pillow

I try to be a good person, but I also try to be the worst person and I end up just being a confused mess

I tried to be good and helped my friend, then I stole his lunch and I was confused

I tried to be good and did my homework, then I threw it away and I was confused

I tried to be good and gave my dog a treat, then I took it back and I was confused

I feel for everyone like they're my family, but then I remember I have no family and I just want to eat pizza

I felt for my friend like he was my brother, then I remembered I have no brothers and I ate pizza

I felt for my teacher like she was my mom, then I remembered I have no mom and I ate pizza

I felt for my dog like he was my dad, then I remembered I have no dad and I ate pizza