I don't speak russian I speak soviet

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What I yell at the top of my lungs when I’m stuck in Russia and my brain is melting from confusion and stress

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not asking for directions, I’m declaring war.

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not lost, I’m just choosing to be extra.

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not being rude, I’m just being honest.

What I say when I’m in Russia and I’m too tired to be polite and too mad to be smart

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not tired, I’m just being a menace.

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not mad, I’m just being dramatic.

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not being a menace, I’m just being a legend.

What I say when I’m in Russia and I’m ready to fight the entire country for a better coffee break

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not fighting the country, I’m just being a troublemaker.

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not a troublemaker, I’m just being a coffee god.

I don’t speak Russian, I speak Soviet, and I’m not being a coffee god, I’m just being a menace.