I don't have hands

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2 views · Added 11d ago · 3 definitions

1
A stupid excuse when someone yells at you to do something easy.
My teacher told me to hand in my homework. I said, 'I don't have hands.' She said, 'Then use your face.'
My mom asked me to grab the milk. I said, 'I don't have hands.' She said, 'Then use your brain.'
My friend asked me to pass the salt. I said, 'I don't have hands.' He said, 'Then use your mouth.'
2
A lie you tell when you’re too lazy to move your fingers.
My boss told me to type the report. I said, 'I don't have hands.' He said, 'Then use your brain.'
My brother asked me to open the door. I said, 'I don't have hands.' He said, 'Then use your body.'
My neighbor yelled at me to mow the lawn. I said, 'I don't have hands.' He said, 'Then use your face.'
3
A rude way to say you're too lazy to help someone else.
My friend asked me to help her with her math. I said, 'I don't have hands.' She said, 'Then use your brain.'
My dad told me to clean my room. I said, 'I don't have hands.' He said, 'Then use your face.'
My teacher asked me to write the test. I said, 'I don't have hands.' She said, 'Then use your brain.'
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