Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A scream of pure confusion and disbelief when something hits you like a truck full of farts

I don't even. You just ate a whole pizza and a bag of chips for breakfast?

I don't even. Your dog tried to murder my cat.

I don't even. You said the word 'fluffy' in a sentence.

2

A phrase Regina George would yell at you if you spilled her juice and then tried to pretend it was a plan

I don't even. You failed the test and still think you're cool.

I don't even. You just texted me 'brb' and left me hanging for three hours.

I don't even. Your hair is on fire and you're still talking about your phone.

3

When something is so dumb, you can't even think of a way to curse at it properly

I don't even. You tried to explain your life story to a robot.

I don't even. Your mom is dating a goat.

I don't even. You think 'txt msg' is a real word.

4

A way of saying you're so dumb you can't even understand what's going on, and you're also laughing at yourself

I don't even. You just said 'The Fuck' and then asked for help.

I don't even. You tried to explain your life to a kid.

I don't even. You think 'mlem' is a real language.

5

When something is so random, stupid, or just completely out of nowhere, you have nothing left to say

I don't even. Your dog just started a rap battle with my cat.

I don't even. You just said 'The Fuck' to a vending machine.

I don't even. You tried to explain your life to a toaster.

6

When you're so defeated by life that you just say 'I don't even' instead of crying or screaming or doing anything else

I don't even. You just got a D on your math test and you're still smiling.

I don't even. You tried to explain your life to a chicken.

I don't even. Your pants are on fire and you're still texting.

7

When you're so lazy and unimpressed, you just say 'I don't even' instead of doing anything else

I don't even. You just said 'The Fuck' to your mom.

I don't even. You tried to explain your life to a sock.

I don't even. Your dog just signed up for college.