I don't do that shit anymore

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5 views · Added 11d ago · 6 definitions

1
What stoners say when they’re trying to act cool but still have the munchies at 3 a. m.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still eat cereal out of the box like it’s a crime.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still smoke when my mom walks in.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still talk to my plants like they’re my ex.
2
What people say when they’re trying to quit but still need the buzz once in a while.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still hit the button when my phone rings.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still eat the whole bag of chips like it’s a celebration.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still talk to my dog like he’s my lawyer.
3
What people say when they’re trying to be mature but still have the brain of a toddler on weed.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still think my fridge is a portal to another dimension.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still talk to my plants like they’re my parents.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still eat the whole pizza like it’s a war.
4
What people say when they’re trying to sound tough but still have the heart of a puppy.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still cry when my cat looks at me.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still eat the whole cake like it’s a gift.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still talk to my dog like he’s my best friend.
5
What people say when they’re trying to act smart but still have the brain of a confused chicken.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still think my coffee is a person.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still eat the whole sandwich like it’s a mission.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still talk to my plants like they’re my teachers.
6
What people say when they’re trying to be chill but still have the nerves of a spaz.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still scream at my TV like it’s my boss.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still eat the whole bag of chips like it’s a victory.
I don’t do that shit anymore, but I still talk to my dog like he’s my therapist.
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