I Do Not See The Printer

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1
A fancy way of saying you're lying like a fat kid on Christmas morning. You can't see the printer because it's hiding under the couch, eating your snacks.
I Do Not See The Printer, I swear it was here 5 minutes ago!
I Do Not See The Printer, it's probably dead from too much coffee.
I Do Not See The Printer, it ran away from my boss.
2
A way of saying you're too lazy to look, and you're also too dumb to find it. The printer is there, but you're not looking because you're busy being a failure.
I Do Not See The Printer, I’m too busy being a failure to look.
I Do Not See The Printer, it’s probably mad at me.
I Do Not See The Printer, I’m too lazy to walk 2 feet.
3
A lie you tell when you're too scared to admit you messed up. The printer is right there, but you're too scared to say you saw it.
I Do Not See The Printer, I'm too scared to say I saw it.
I Do Not See The Printer, it’s hiding because it knows I messed up.
I Do Not See The Printer, it’s probably mocking me.
4
A classic excuse used by people who are too proud to admit they're wrong. You can't see the printer because you're too proud to look.
I Do Not See The Printer, I’m too proud to look.
I Do Not See The Printer, I’m too busy being right.
I Do Not See The Printer, I’m too proud to be wrong.
5
A stupid lie you tell when you're too busy being a diva to find the printer. It's right there, but you're too busy being a diva to notice it.
I Do Not See The Printer, I'm too busy being a diva.
I Do Not See The Printer, it’s hiding from my diva energy.
I Do Not See The Printer, I’m too fancy to look.
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