i did the urban dictionary name thing im sorry!!!

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1
I was one of the losers who thought I had to show off my name's Urban Dictionary definition and it was the worst idea ever. I’m sorry I lived.
I looked up my name and it was just a guy who got kicked out of a restaurant. What even is life?
My name’s definition was ‘a human who still uses Facebook.’ I’m not even that old.
I had to read my name’s definition out loud in class. My face is now a meme.
2
I tried to be cool by using Urban Dictionary to define my name and it backfired harder than a middle schooler’s lunch money.
My name means ‘a person who thinks they’re funny but isn’t.’ I live in shame now.
I had to explain my name’s definition to my dog. He looked at me like I was a bad pet parent.
My name says ‘a human who still texts in all caps.’ I am that human.
3
I thought Urban Dictionary had a cool definition for my name. I was wrong. I now live in regret and embarrassment.
My name means ‘a person who still uses Google Docs.’ I am that person. I am also dead inside.
I had to use my name’s definition in a group project. My friends laughed so hard I cried.
I told my mom my name’s definition. She said I was ‘the worst.’
xs