I crap you negative - A swear-heavy way of telling someone you're telling the abso

A swear-heavy way of telling someone you're telling the absolute truth and you're not afraid to back it up with a whole lot of crap.

I crap you negative, and I'd bet my lunch money on it.

I crap you negative, I'm not the kind of person who would lie to you.

I crap you negative, and if I'm lying, I'll let you take a poop test.