I Control the Fire

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What you write when you're drunk enough to think you're a god and then wake up with a hangover and a headache the size of a truck.

I’m gonna be rich by 25. No doubt. (Later: I don’t even know what I wrote.)

My ex is gonna regret this. (Later: My ex is now my ex and I’m still single.)

I’m gonna eat the whole pizza by myself. (Later: I passed out on the couch with a cheese slice in my hand.)

What you write when you think you're famous, but it turns out you're just a fool with a pen and a bad decision.

I’m gonna win American Idol. (Later: I don’t even know how to sing.)

I’m gonna be a superhero. (Later: I tripped over my own shoelace.)

I’m gonna change the world. (Later: I changed my socks.)

What you write when you're so wasted you think you can fly, but then you crash into a couch and realize you're just a mess.

I’m gonna fly to Mars. (Later: I fell off the couch.)

I’m gonna be the president. (Later: I was still wearing my pajamas.)

I’m gonna live forever. (Later: I had a splitting headache.)

What you write when you're drunk enough to think you're a rockstar, but it turns out you're just a loud person with a bad voice.

I’m gonna rock the world. (Later: I screamed into a pillow.)

I’m gonna be a rockstar. (Later: I karaoke’d and it was a disaster.)

I’m gonna have a million followers. (Later: I had zero likes.)

What you write when you think you’re a legend, but in the morning you’re just a guy who made a mess of his life.

I’m gonna be a legend. (Later: I still didn’t know what I did.)

I’m gonna own a castle. (Later: I was still in my apartment.)

I’m gonna be rich. (Later: I had a $5 coffee.)