I Cheat On Wife

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I give my wife the short end of the stick and take the whole damn cake with extra frosting.

I told my wife I was at the gym. I was at the bar with my mistress and a plate of nachos.

I said I was working late. I was at a hotel with my lover and a six-pack of beer.

I told her I was sleeping. I was snoring with my mistress in a different bed.

I switch my wife out for a newer model and keep the old one in the garage.

I said I was going to a meeting. I was at a restaurant with my lover and a side of fries.

I told her I was doing laundry. I was at a hotel with my mistress and a big breakfast.

I said I was watching TV. I was with my lover and a bunch of snacks.

I let my wife believe she’s the main event, but I’m actually in the background with my mistress.

I told her I was working overtime. I was at a bar with my lover and a bottle of whiskey.

I said I was helping my mom. I was with my mistress and a whole pizza.

I told her I was taking a nap. I was with my lover and a big bowl of ice cream.