I call Retard
I call Retard is when you let your stupid friend take all the glory while you sit there like a f***ing piece of trash. You get laid, but you might end up f***ed up on oxy and weed in the corner.
I let my friend Mike call Retard and I got stuck eating chicken nuggets while he got high and flirted with the barista.
My friend Sarah called Retard and I had to clean up her f***ing mess in the club.
I let my friend Joe call Retard and I had to sit through his f***ing stupid speeches.