I brought food - What you say when you are trying to save a friendship or you

What you say when you are trying to save a friendship or your own life with a sandwich.

I said 'I brought food' after I accidentally texted my ex my period symptoms and he replied with 'I brought food' and I died a little.

My brother said 'I brought food' after I threw a plate at him and he just smiled and handed me a burger.

My crush said 'I brought food' after I spilled my coffee on him and I instantly fell in love.