I blame FedEx

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 6 definitions

1
When you're too lazy to do your work and you scream at FedEx like they owe you money.
I blame FedEx for not delivering my pizza on time. I was too busy eating cereal for breakfast.
I blame FedEx because I didn't study for my test. It's their fault I failed.
I blame FedEx for my bad grade. They didn't deliver the answers to my homework.
2
Saying FedEx did something wrong when you're the one who messed up.
I blame FedEx for my missed flight. I was too busy playing video games to check my email.
I blame FedEx for my lost dog. I forgot to put the dog in the car.
I blame FedEx for my burnt toast. I was too distracted by my phone to flip the toast.
3
When you throw a tantrum and yell at FedEx like they broke your phone.
I blame FedEx for my broken phone. I dropped it, but I blame them anyway.
I blame FedEx for my bad hair. I didn't brush it, but I blame them.
I blame FedEx for my late assignment. I didn't do it, but I blame them.
4
When you act like FedEx is your personal enemy and they owe you everything.
I blame FedEx for my bad mood. They didn't deliver my coffee on time.
I blame FedEx for my lost keys. They didn't deliver them to me.
I blame FedEx for my bad grade. They didn't deliver the answers to my test.
5
Using FedEx as a scapegoat when you're the one who messed everything up.
I blame FedEx for my broken laptop. I dropped it, but I blame them.
I blame FedEx for my lost job. I didn't show up, but I blame them.
I blame FedEx for my bad day. I didn't get up, but I blame them.
6
When you're too dumb to realize it's your own fault and you blame FedEx instead.
I blame FedEx for my failed math test. I didn't study, but I blame them.
I blame FedEx for my lost dog. I forgot to put the dog in the car, but I blame them.
I blame FedEx for my burnt dinner. I didn't cook it right, but I blame them.
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