I am not the sum total of my search queries

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#judgment#spreadsheet#google

3 views · Added 11d ago · 5 definitions

1
You're not just a bunch of numbers on a spreadsheet that some old man in a basement uses to judge you. Your whole life is being judged by some random Google search from 2015.
You're being judged because you searched 'how to make a grilled cheese' at 2 AM.
Your ex found out you looked up 'how to fake a pregnancy' on Google.
Your boss knows you searched 'how to fake being sick' on Monday.
by Slangipedia 11d ago
2
You're not just some dumb algorithm that some loser used to track you. You're being judged by your Facebook Marketplace clicks from 2013.
Your mom knows you clicked on 'used couch' 7 times.
Your crush knows you looked up 'used bike' 12 times.
Your teacher knows you clicked on 'used Xbox' at 3 AM.
by Slangipedia 11d ago
3
You're not just a bunch of text messages that some idiot used to pick on you. They're using your dumb text messages and phone calls to make fun of you.
Your crush is making fun of you for texting 'omg' 100 times.
Your mom is using your text messages to call you a 'dumbass'.
Your teacher is laughing at your phone call verbatims.
by Slangipedia 11d ago
4
You're not just some GPS location data that some creep used to stalk you. They're using your location history and contact lists to make fun of you.
Your crush is using your GPS data to know where you are every day.
Your ex is using your contacts to find out you're friends with your crush.
Your teacher is using your location history to know you're cheating.
by Slangipedia 11d ago
5
You're not just some dumb cloud storage list that some old man used to pick on you. Your whole life is being judged by some random contact list from 2012.
Your mom is using your contact list to know you're friends with your crush.
Your dad is using your cloud storage to know you're not a good student.
Your teacher is using your contact list to know you're cheating.
by Slangipedia 11d ago
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