I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

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1
I never lie. I just make up stories that are so fake they’re like truth. And when I say truth, I mean the kind that comes out of my ass and smells like a bad pizza.
My mom says I lie. I say she’s just jealous I can lie better than her.
I told my teacher I passed the test. She said I failed. I said she’s just mad I’m better at lying than her.
I told my friend I had a date. He said I’m just lying again. I said he’s just jealous I can lie and still look good.
2
I tell the truth so hard, even my lies sound like the real deal. Like I’m not lying. I’m just giving the truth a bad haircut.
I told my brother I ate all the cookies. He said I lied. I said he’s just bitter I can lie and still eat cookies.
I said I had a million dollars. My friend said I was lying. I said he’s just jealous I can lie and still look rich.
I told my dog I was going for a walk. He stayed home. I said he’s just lying too.
3
I tell the truth. I just make it up. And when I lie, I’m not lying. I’m telling the truth about how bad I am at being honest.
I told my mom I got an A. She said I lied. I said she’s just mad I’m better at lying than her.
I told my teacher I studied all night. She said I was lying. I said she’s just jealous I can lie and still look tired.
I told my friend I was going to the gym. He said I was lying. I said he’s just jealous I can lie and still be fat.
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